Depression is a strange thing. It doesn’t always manifest itself in the ways you’d expect. I certainly didn’t expect it to show itself as basically a withdrawal from society, I stopped going for my morning walks, I stopped going to my radio club. Stopping the morning walks were particularly distressing. I have no idea how I managed to keep the Thursday night net going.
There were times when my desire to not do the TNN was so intense that I really had to force myself to sit down. Usually, I was ok whilst it was running, and releived when it finished. There were definitely times when I wanted to stop doing it.
The walking, getting up at 0535 used to be a pleasure, it stopped being so. I’m afraid that getting up at that time is off the menu certainly for the time being.
I’m not sure what has clicked in my brain that has made me realise where I am, something my wife said, and something I read I think. I’m probably going to have to speak to someone about it.
Bills Posts 
I thought you weren’t yourself! Never forget your friends are here to help and chat!!
Cheers
Mark
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Thanks Mark, I’ve never forgotten that you are there. I’ve been frustrated not understanding what was going on, yesterday the realisation really struck home. Now I can do something about it!
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Hi Bill,
It’s a difficult time for men of our age. Lots of changes, work, relaionships, circumstances health etc. Women tend to discuss their problems with their friends, we don’t really have that. Linda is always out socialising! I prefer Victor Meldrew mode! I know that you have a lot of changes about to take p!ace and that’s a!ways worrying.
If you need time out you’re always welcome here. Linda showed me a picture of you sailing in your car. Our car got hit by golf ball sized hail. Well, probably large marbles. It’s covered in mini craters. It still drives okay! Love the blog, enjoyed reading about the cruise!
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Thank you Clive, that means a lot to me. Yesterday was a bit like a weight being lifted off. Not fixed obviously, but knowing why I’m feeling the way I do is half the battle.
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