
A couple of years ago, I think, I started giving the birds peanuts because they were less messy (the peanuts, not the birds) but I had to grind them up. I tried by hand at first peanuts in a tea towel or bag, hitting or mashing them with a rolling pin. Didn’t work well,
So I went to Asdas where they had a food processor for £10 that’ll do I thought. In the mornings I would fill it to the top, not realising that I was well beyond the ‘not above here” mark and then grind the nuts for a minute without stopping. It broke, the plastic connector where it sits on the spindle split apart. Annoying, but it had given good service considering the amount of use. I went back to asdas and bought another one. Still £10 not bad I thought.
For some reason, this time I read the instruction book. Amongst the first things it said were; DO NOT fill beyond the line and DO NOT run for more than 15 seconds without pausing. “Oh” I thought. I had better follow the instructions. This one lasted about a month before breaking in exactly the same way. “Oh dear” I thought, but a little bit more expressively. What can I do I wondered? I know, I’ll see if I can superglue the bracket together.
The trouble with superglue is that once opened and resealed, it can glue the cap to the body. It is a very effective glue. Taking a pair of pliers to the tube doesn’t loosen the cap, it tears it in half.
I have a go at delivering the glue to where it needs to be. I manage to knock the loose half of the bracket deeper into the body, because it is covered in superglue it immediately binds and I can’t move it. “Oh dear” I mutter, a little more expressive than last time. I now have superglue on my fingers, the tube of glue, the pliers and the work top.
Not thinking, I pickup the kitchen towel to wipe the glue off. Not only does that not work, I now have bits of tissue glued to my hand. Writing this three hours after the event, I have managed to scrape off the tissue and residual glue (well most of it).
The now completely useless blade resides in the small processing tub, staring balefully at me. I will dispose of in the morning, when I hope it will not glue itself to the dustbin.
No squirrel was superglued in the writing of this post.